My white counts are up so high that I feel really good today, although I had a rocky morning with some queasiness. I decided to take advantage of the good weather and my good health today and took Riley for a nice 30 minute walk. It felt good to be moving and outside and I truly appreciated the green grass and flowers everywhere after our long winter. Riley seemed to appreciate it too and examined nearly every blade of grass along the way. He actually needs the exercise because he's gotten a little chunky and I just need to move.
I've decided to shave my head tonight because my hair is really starting to come out now. This is a hard decision to make, but I know it's the right one. While I was getting my blood drawn yesterday (I'm getting much better at it), the phlebotomist who also works with Mom and at NIH, Ronnie, sat down with me and said it would be better to shave it than to have it fall out. She assured me that it will grow back and, "be lovely." I am not looking forward to shaving it, but it is necessary.
I had a weak moment yesterday when I looked in the mirror and started to see a little bit of a bald batch coming in up front. I realized that it's definitely happening, but I had hoped I had a little more time before it came out. I can't stop my hair from coming out, but it's still hard to actually get to that point where it is really happening to me. Tonight will be difficult, but it has to be done. I'll either let my brother shave me or Mike. My brother has experience using the hair clippers and I used to shave his head when he was younger, so this could be his moment. I put away all my hair products and hair gels for now because I don't need any additional reminders. Mike keeps telling me that I'll be a beautiful bald woman and soon he'll get to see what that looks like on me.
10 comments:
Hi Angela,
We've never met but I work with your husband. I just wanted to let you know that my heart is with you guys. My mom went through surgery and chemo to beat colon cancer about three years ago and my sister-in-law has had stage 4 breast cancer for 3 years and continues to beat it each and every day. Stay strong, stay positive, and you'll make it through with flying colors. God bless.
James Maxted
This comment is a THANK YOU to Gila for the cookie recipe. I made them on Sunday night and dropped off a decent amount of them with Angela last night. She ate one while we were there but based on how skinny she looks, she could do with eating a bunch more!! The rest are going to be fed to my softball team tonight. You were right -- that recipe makes a lot of cookies!
Angela,
I want to give you a big huge hug! I'm so glad to hear that you're feeling much better today, physically at least.
Love you much!
Hi Angela,
I'm glad you are feeling better. Stay strong, you will get through it all (and your hair WILL come back...trust me, I know these things). Remember:
Bald is beautiful!
Mike Luton
P.S. Just think how easy it will be to get ready in the morning! :)
Good morning!
First, glad to hear the cookie recipe was a success. Angela--eat them ALL! Well, you can give a few to Mike. :)
Second, in respect to the hair thing, I am completely feeling for you. (Given how much money I invest in altering my hair, even thinking about losing it makes me cringe). Hope you guys can have fun with it.
Gila
Hey Angela,
I am so glad that you are feeling better today! Enjoy the good days when they come! :)
As for the hair....Demni Moore looked so wonderful in GI Jane, so bald can be hot....it is just a state of mind! I am sure that you look wonderful and like someone else said just think how quickly you can get ready now! :)
Keep your chin up and I will talk to you soon!
Love,
Katie and the entire Camp Clan.....from Disney World
We wish you where here!
Angela,
You're still the same beautiful woman you've always been (with or without hair). Without, your beauty just shines through stronger!
I have experience with clippers too trimming Ron's so just holler if you need a helper.
Keep strong and know we love you!
Nancy
Angela, We miss you. There's not a day that goes by at DI without someone asking about you. You probably know how much I love gospel music. I was listening to some of my favorites while in traffic this week -- songs about faith, strength, and healing -- and I thought of you. Until this experience, I didn't know you had such strength. You make us laugh when we want to cry, be more grateful for the simple things we sometimes take for granted.
PatJ
Gila-my entire family thanks you for the cookie recipe and Barb-thank you for making the cookies. My brother scarfed down about 5 for his "lunch" when he took me to NIH on Tuesday and then had some more when we came home. They are really good. Mary Lai and Steve even had some when they visited this afternoon (she has a tiny baby "bump" starting now!)
To all who enjoyed the cookies--am very glad to have been able to do *something*!
Gila
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