Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Life's a Dance

As I prepare myself for tomorrow's NIH visit I'm thinking of two country songs: Garth Brooks, "Standing Outside the Fire" and John Michael Montgomery's "Life's a Dance". Both are ultimately about living life to the fullest and when we take a fall, we need to get right back up and jump back into life for more. I am using the lyrics from both of these songs to give me the courage and strength to fully understand what the doctors may tell me tomorrow.

From all the research I've been doing, if I have any form of MDS it will not be an easy road to recovery. Tonight I don't know the details: if I do have MDS, how severe it is, and what treatment I will need. Tonight is the great unknown for tomorrow may bring great relief or great sorrow. I just hope I am able to handle the results and be able to understand what all of my treatment options are. I also hope the doctors have their answers and have come up with some sort of game plan and that this is treatable.

These past few weeks have been a struggle. I've had doubts and am facing a number of fears. It's been much harder than when I was diagnosed with NHL. For the past few years post-chemo, I've been feeling healthier than ever. I've run a number of 5k races and an 8k (and have beaten people younger than me). I work out twice a week with a trainer and have gone so much stronger. To have all of of that taken away from me in such a short amount of time has been difficult. There's another song on the radio now called, "Billionaire" and Travie McCoy sings about how he wants to be a billionaire, be on the cover of Forbes Magazine, and smile next to Oprah and the Queen. Well, I'd give anything to have good health. I don't want to be a billionare. I just want to grow old. Is that to much to ask?

Life's a Dance Lyrics
The longer I live the more I believe
You do have to give if you wanna receive
There's a time to listen, a time to talk
And you might have to crawl even after you walk
Had sure things blow up in my face
Seen the long shot win the race
Been knocked down by the slamming door
Picked myself up and came back for more

Life's a dance you learn as you go
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow
Don't worry about what you don't know
Life's a dance you learn as you go

1 comment:

FirePhrase said...

Hope all is well. And I'll gift a scrap from one of my favorite Roger Clyne song that goes with your dance theme:

we can hear the bossa nova
we can sway the night away
the steps to the dance are best left up to chance
better beautiful than perfect, anyway