Don't ask me about the title of this blog, I just like it. I've been staring at this bottle of Seriously Hot Jamaican hot sauce on my dining room table and just like the name on the bottle. Granted, I can't have any hot sauce because it would probably tear up my stomach. We invited my parents, Michael, and Shaunda over for Father's Day on Sunday and Shaunda needed the hot sauce for her turkey burger. I seriously miss flavor on and in my foods, but I'm dealing with it. Every once in a while I will cheat and eat something mildly spicy just for a little taste, but I am very good overall. I'm supposed to drastically reduce my caffeine intake because it can dehydrate me, and I've done a very good job with that. I used to have a Grande Skim Chai every morning before work and now I probably have a Chai every two to three weeks, but only during my good week. I haven't had a caffeinated soda since March or April. I had a sip once, but it didn't even taste good. It's better to load up on water, Gatorade, lemonade, or other non-caffeinated beverages. My lactose-free milk is also really good right now (and helps with stomach problems too).
I met Michael and Mom at Lowes tonight to help pick out fixtures for my parents bathroom. We managed to select new flooring and wall tile, a new vanity, a new toilet, a new medicine cabinet, and lights. Unfortunately, my stomach decided to act up on me so I had to head home after about an hour. I still need to take my Zofran and Ativan, but I wanted to blog first. I also start another round of shots tonight and I'm really looking forward to it. Hopefully, Mike won't hurt me like he did last time! Youch!
I need to keep an eye on myself for the next couple of days, especially in staying hydrated. I also need to keep a close eye on my temperature to make sure I don't get a fever. I tend to neglect that side of things, but I have figured out pretty quickly in the past when I did have a fever. I remember one late-night run to the hospital last month when my temperature hit over 100 degrees. I must finish packing my hospital bag tomorrow - just in case. I already have a couple of sets of pajamas, but I need some other necessities and a couple of books/magazines. I usually don't feel up to reading in the hospital, but it does get pretty boring in my hospital bed.
I am so glad that I am now more than halfway through all of my chemo cycles now. I should only have two more rounds to go and then I can get on with my future full of CT scans every few months for the next few years. I fear that life after chemo will be the toughest for me because then I can really start worrying about things. These past few months I have lived one day at a time, just trying to push the worries from my head and get through this experience. When I no longer have a chemo schedule, that's when I fear the bad thoughts will creep into my head. I plan on joining a support group very soon to deal with this. I've started looking already, but I really would prefer a lymphoma support group to deal with my specific cancer. I also don't want to be with a bunch of depressed people discussing death and dying. I want to live and I want to be able to talk about living with this disease and moving forward.
I'm hanging in there - one day at a time.