It's Not Fair

I had a very good conversation today with my co-worker, Michell, and it wasn't until I was on my way home (I was grocery shopping) that it really hit me. Michell has a friend who is only 40 years young who has just gone through her second chemo treatment for breast cancer. Whenever I hear of another comrade in this battle against cancer, it makes me sad and mad that another person has to fight this disease. I don't want to be the last person in the world with cancer, but I would truly like no one else to battle this terrible thing and face the darkness and uncertainty that I've been through these past few months. I'm dismayed to hear about Michell's friend and hope the best for her. I now know enough about different cancer treatments to know that her friend will have chemo every three weeks for six months - unlike my six cycles. I'm praying for Michell and her friend to be given courage and strength, but most importantly, HOPE.

On the positive side, my college roommate, Kim, finished up her last round of chemo last month and I hope she's happily growing her hair back right now (even though she confessed that she will miss the quickie showers - I can relate!). My email buddy from Houston (hi, Paul) had his CT scan yesterday and I'm hoping his results are excellent. He's been a constant cheerleader to me and is always making me laugh with silly jokes and funny pictures. He did criticize me for not eating my watermelon properly in the picture because in Texas they eat it like corn on the cob with the juices running down your face. I didn't have the heart to tell him that ever since I had my braces, I cut my corn off the cob. I better turn in my Texas family card now!

I managed to make it to the gym yesterday for a little bit to work out with my trainer. I've been trying to work out with Tom during my good weeks, but it's been very sad to see my strength and stamina levels so low. I was pleased that I only got a little light-headed once yesterday (compared with three times last week) and was able to press 30 pounds instead of 25 pounds. Before I got sick, I was starting to develop nicely sculpted arms and was able to press about 40 pounds. I was also able to dead-lift 100 pounds, but now I can only manage 25 pounds. I really do understand that my strength is down, but it's still difficult to see that I'm basically back to where I was more than a year ago. Once I am done with my treatments, I truly plan to build back up and get back to where I was. I don't plan on playing volleyball this fall, but next spring I will return! I just finally figured out how to hit the ball after all these years! I might be able to try a little light rock climbing in October as well because I can climb as high as I can manage. Maybe I'll even ask my rock-climbing nurse practitioner to join me at the gym. He can see me not sick for a change.